I'm going to start off with the good part. My most treasured memory is meeting my first host family. The Pankows. Being an exchange student, and learning from past participants, you realise that what you get is certainly not what you want. Fair enough, I went through that back home as well. But when I'm with the people I know, there's always room to wriggle and lament. In Germany, I couldn't complain because I was treading in a completely different territory. There was also the fear that my host family would ship me home if I misbehaved (surprise surprise, they didn't) and the possibility of them sending me to another family. The point is, you just deal with whatever you receive, which is the bare truth. In that sense, should I call myself lucky? Because the family I was sent to, is the family I'm bringing back with me.
In our post departure camp which was held recently, AFS asked us to describe our happiest memory. I said that my story to share didn't consist of one moment only. It just made me happy that Papa would wake up every morning to toast buns, lather them with my favourite fillings, and pack them up for my lunchbox. Kindness is so subjective. You would think that it's mandatory that people show kindness, that such acts are miniscule and don't prove much. But for a stranger to step into someone else's home, and have food served on the table, (although it's part of the AFS contract) kindness goes a long way. It's funny how heavily exchange students rely on kindness.
I don't think I'd ever forget my host mum. She plays this absolutely hilarious game on the computer everytime she comes home from work. She gets to plant, fertilise and water trees and she loves it because she doesn't have to think while she's playing. Don't let that fool you though. She's incredible at the German version of tic-tac-toe. And she's apparently got massive skills at billiard. Lots of people are under the impression that there's only so far one would go for someone else's child. Wanna know what my host mum did for me? I actually had to attend a party at a friend's place. But I wanted to go to our family gathering held on the same day as well. So my host mum said that we could drop by the gathering for a couple of minutes, and then she'd drive me to my friend's place. We ended up spending too much time at the gathering and it was almost 12 midnight when we realised the time. But my host mum still insisted on driving me to the party. That's the kind of person she is, and that was one of the many things she did for me.
My friends were amazing. I don't know what else to say about them. We did stuff. Stuff that friends would do together :)
I think, when there are things, or people you just can't forget, do yourself a favour and seal them in your memory forever. That's what I'm going to do with my buddies here. To my schoolmates, thanks a bunch for everything during the year.
The AFS experience could have also not been completed if it weren't for the other AFS participants from other countries. We all knew what we were going through, and we all stood by each other. Thanks for the memories :) And a special thanks to Ariel. You were my first international friend, and the only other person to know how it feels to be so distant from civilisation aka Berlin.
It would be utterly inappropriate not to mention the AFS participants from Malaysia. Although we were sent to different countries, we always helped each other out. And I want to thank you guys for the speedy replies regarding every matter put forth. We are special cos we made it and you guys should know how beautiful yall are.
And to wrap it up, this is for you, Papa and Mutti. Ich hab euch lieb und ich vermisse euch jeden Tag. Wartet ihr nur bis ich wieder dahin fahre. Oder wenn ich euch nach Malaysia bringe. Thanks for accepting me into your cosy little family. I'll always know that I have a mom and a dad in Germany.
Of course, an exchange year isn't all sugar, spice and everything nice. There were times when I felt I made the wrong decisions. Especially when I had to cope with the change in families. There were things done (not going to mention) by certain people (not going to mention) that I didn't agree with (not go-- Oh wait, there's nothing to mention). I spoke a lot with my parents in Malaysia about it. And they were great in advising me, but I just somehow couldn't fit myself in. And so I started finding reasons to spend less time as possible at home. That was obviously not the right move and I regret not taking care of it in a different manner. At least now I know that such methods won't work.. I'm also not sure if my stint in Germany has brought me out of my shell, because as social as I may be, there are times where I just refuse to interact. Times where I think it's best that I be left alone. Also, times where I just don't want to talk because I feel like a completely different person. It still happens now, maybe less, maybe more. Maybe that's just not something an exchange year can change in someone. The one thing I really do wish I did more is was to eat Döner. If only I had taken every opportunity to whack this thing. >.<
So where does all of this leave me now?
It would be a lie to say I haven't changed. Cold weather and lots of walking would have an effect. But honestly, I still remember my mom's face when she saw me at the airport as I arrived. It was that Is-she-really-my-daughter look. And I admit, I was wondering if I had gone overboard. Too much change isn't really a good thing. And I can't say that I've transformed myself into someone great, nor am I an evil person. However, I do know that when things alter, you just have to accept it and go with the flow.
So, now I'm in KYUEM. Doing A-Levels. In the middle of a jungle. I've found great friends. I like my subjects. I have a routine. I'm going to believe I'm a better person than I was, and I want to be a better person than I am. So at this point, life goes on.
I think, when there are things, or people you just can't forget, do yourself a favour and seal them in your memory forever. That's what I'm going to do with my buddies here. To my schoolmates, thanks a bunch for everything during the year.
The AFS experience could have also not been completed if it weren't for the other AFS participants from other countries. We all knew what we were going through, and we all stood by each other. Thanks for the memories :) And a special thanks to Ariel. You were my first international friend, and the only other person to know how it feels to be so distant from civilisation aka Berlin.
And to wrap it up, this is for you, Papa and Mutti. Ich hab euch lieb und ich vermisse euch jeden Tag. Wartet ihr nur bis ich wieder dahin fahre. Oder wenn ich euch nach Malaysia bringe. Thanks for accepting me into your cosy little family. I'll always know that I have a mom and a dad in Germany.
Of course, an exchange year isn't all sugar, spice and everything nice. There were times when I felt I made the wrong decisions. Especially when I had to cope with the change in families. There were things done (not going to mention) by certain people (not going to mention) that I didn't agree with (not go-- Oh wait, there's nothing to mention). I spoke a lot with my parents in Malaysia about it. And they were great in advising me, but I just somehow couldn't fit myself in. And so I started finding reasons to spend less time as possible at home. That was obviously not the right move and I regret not taking care of it in a different manner. At least now I know that such methods won't work.. I'm also not sure if my stint in Germany has brought me out of my shell, because as social as I may be, there are times where I just refuse to interact. Times where I think it's best that I be left alone. Also, times where I just don't want to talk because I feel like a completely different person. It still happens now, maybe less, maybe more. Maybe that's just not something an exchange year can change in someone. The one thing I really do wish I did more is was to eat Döner. If only I had taken every opportunity to whack this thing. >.<
So where does all of this leave me now?
It would be a lie to say I haven't changed. Cold weather and lots of walking would have an effect. But honestly, I still remember my mom's face when she saw me at the airport as I arrived. It was that Is-she-really-my-daughter look. And I admit, I was wondering if I had gone overboard. Too much change isn't really a good thing. And I can't say that I've transformed myself into someone great, nor am I an evil person. However, I do know that when things alter, you just have to accept it and go with the flow.
So, now I'm in KYUEM. Doing A-Levels. In the middle of a jungle. I've found great friends. I like my subjects. I have a routine. I'm going to believe I'm a better person than I was, and I want to be a better person than I am. So at this point, life goes on.
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